Harm, I Am Your Father
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmSinger established SUMMARY: An ongoing series of drabbles, but separate from the Drabble Series. Each can be read as a standalone.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Harm, I Am Your Father

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

CATEGORY: AU, Humor, there is Romance here, but it's not of vital importance

TIMELINE: AU, I don't know, Season 5-9 of AU timeline

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG and franchise Star Wars are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I apologize to George Lucas for using that famous line from Star Wars without his permission. I make no money from this, so don't sue me. But I just had to write this when hearing it again.

Okay, this's just gone from a single drabble to a series of them. I can not promise constant updates, but will update every time I have inspiration. Every single part can be taken as a standalone and there is no actual point this series should end with. Kinda like PlotWhatPlot, but without the adult content.

SUMMARY: A JAG twist of the famous Star Wars line.

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"Harm, I am your father."

Harm blinked. "Huh?"

"I am your father, Harm."

"No, you're not."

"I AM your father."

"No. You. Are. Not."

"How dare you deny it?"

"First of all, Harriet, you are a woman, therefore you can not be a father. Second of all, you are 10 years my junior, so you can definitely not even be my mother, let alone my father."

"Damn." she muttered. Then with a hopeful "Would you believe I had a sex change operation and fell into the fountain of youth?"

"No." was his drawled reply.

"Damn."

"And please tell your husband that if he makes you watch Star Wars ever again, I'll officially confiscate his DVDs. Now, go tell him that, I have to leave now in order to meet my wife for dinner on time."

"Yes, sir. Say 'Hello' to Loren for me." When Harriet walked out of Harm's office she mumbled to herself. "Now I have an official order for Bud to quit watching the same damn movie over and over and making me watch it also. Thank god."

"Lt. Sims?" she turned back at Harm's call.

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't think you had me fooled even for a second with what you were trying to do. I had you pegged from the start."

"Damn."

AN: I know Bud's a Trekkie, but since he is a fan of The X-Files also, who says he isn't a fan of Star Wars also?


	2. Chapter 2

CHARACTERS: Harm, Loren

SUMMARY: Harm and Loren meet for dinner and Harm tells her about his day.

AN: I apologize for the mistake as to whom Bud told what he'd seen on Manly Beach. Dizzy-Dreamer, thank you for pointing that out. This is a repaired version, so everything should now be in order.

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After his encounter with Harriet, Harm hurried to meet Loren at the restaurant. It was a new restaurant, had just been opened and they wanted to try it out.

Since she'd spent the whole day recovering from jet-lag after returning from an investigation they had decided in the morning that she'd meet him there.

When the valet pulled away in Harm's car, Harm turned around and his eyes immediately found Loren. He didn't know how or why, but ever since they'd gotten together, they both had been able to immediately find the other in a room full of people.

She was standing on the curb, 80 feet away from him, with an inviting smile on her lips.

Not one to pass up such a blatant invitation from his beloved, Harm strode over to her with long steps, pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other, their wedding rings gleaming brightly in the light of the setting sun.

After they'd broken apart, several minutes later, they just stared into each other's eyes.

"Hi." Harm whispered, still out of breath from their soulful kiss.

"Hi." Loren whispered back, suffering the same condition.

As one they turned and made their way to the entrance of the restaurant, automatically intertwining their fingers.

-----

Harm opened the door for her and they walked in, giving their names to the maitre'd, who immediately showed them to their table.

Harm pulled the chair out for Loren and when she sat he leaned forward, whispering into her ear.

"You won't believe what Harriet tried to do today."

He pushed the chair in and seated himself.

-----

Normally Loren would've resented such a gesture from a man, taking it as a chauvinistic one, but she now knew Harm was just a product of his breeding. His mother, grandmother and the Navy had made a gentleman out of him and there were no hidden meanings behind his doing such things for her. She still regretted the way she had railed on him when he first did it. The surprised, wounded and hurt look still haunted her from time to time. When he explained why he did it, she was angry at herself for hurting the man she loved, especially over such a silly thing. She immediately apologized sincerely and apologized again later that night at home, in an entirely different way. Later on, she felt terribly guilty every time Harm checked with her before opening the door for her or put his hand on the small of her back hesitantly. She tried to reassure him with a smile, and a kiss if they were out of uniform or in uniform without anyone around, and after a few weeks they were back to normal.

She shook off those thoughts and concentrated on her favorite subject... Harm.

-----

"What?" she asked already amused.

-----

The anecdotes of Bud and Harriet's relationship were legendary among the staff. Of course, only behind the backs of the two protagonists.

While Loren herself hadn't been at the HQ at the time when Bud and Harriet had started dating, she'd heard a lot of the stories from that time. Especially from her husband about the times when Bud stuck his foot into his mouth with Harriet, since Harm often had to console Harriet and try to prevent her breaking up the relationship.

Like the time when Bud ran off during the middle of their make out session on a beach because he saw a satellite fly over. Harm had to do a lot of fast talking that time, because Harriet was steaming mad and definitely ready and willing to kick Bud's ass to the curb.

Loren herself had seen the aftermath of Bud's comment about bare breasts to the Gunny on the phone, when he called from Australia. Not only was what Bud did completely inappropriate and improper, telling an enlisted about naked women during an official phone call on the Navy's dime, especially with that kind of enthusiasm, but he didn't know that by that time the Gunny had already given the receiver to Harriet, who definitely didn't appreciate hearing her husband talk about bare breasts (of women other than herself) with such awe in his voice, much less was amused by it. Loren had watched with interest as the usually-calm woman stormed out of the Admiral's office, seething with rage and muttering something about a castration with a spoon and 'scratching his wandering eyes out'. When Bud had returned with a broken jaw Harriet was immediately calmed down, perhaps thinking at the back of her mind that Bud had deserved it as a karmic punishment for feasting his eyes on other women's bare breasts. But this was only a theory of Loren's. She knew for herself that if she were in Harriet's place, she would've found a small pleasure in him being punished for such a transgression.

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She chuckled at these memories, earning herself a puzzled look from Harm who had already ordered and was waiting for her to do it.

She realised she was holding up proceedings, blushed a little and quickly placed the order herself.

When they were alone again, Harm continued, leaning in for more privacy.

"She tried to pull a Darth Vader on me." he confided.

The quick change of topic from her memories to talk about Star Wars confused Loren.

"A Darth Vader?"

"Yeah, you know, when Vader cuts off Luke's hand and then tells him he's Luke's father."

"No!" it was more a question than a statement, spoiled by her eyes wide in surprise and a barely-suppressed giggle.

"Yup." Harm said with a smug grin on his lips and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Even did the voice."

"You're kidding me."

"Nope, it's true. She actually did the wheezing. In the office. She even had it down pat. Scared the crap out of me for a second."

Finally Loren couldn't hold it in any longer and errupted in giggles, drawing looks from nearby patrons. Harm just looked at her, a gentle, fond smile on his lips, and enjoyed the beautiful sound of his wife's giggling. With the stress from their jobs they treasured every downtime and took full advantage of any chance to unwind.

When she managed to calm herself down she inquired. "So, what did you do?"

"I listed her some of the reasons why she can't be my father."

Loren smirked "Why doesn't that surprise me? Harm, always the rational one." she shook her head at her spouse's antics.

When he didn't elaborate she prompted. "So, what ARE the reasons?"

"First off, she's not a man, so she can't even be A father. Secondly, she's 10 years younger than me."

Loren nodded approvingly, still smirking "Good reasons."

Harm grinned "Thought so too."

"So, what then?"

"Well, that threw her for a loop a bit, but she was quick with another original idea. And I mean it, it was a good one."

This time Loren leaned on the table, causing Harm to follow. "So, what did she do?"

"She asked me if I'd believe her that she'd had a sex-change operation and later on fell into the fountain of youth..."

This time Loren burst out into outright laughter, Harm not far behind.

Their dinner had finally arrived, forcing them to calm down. After taking a sip of his drink and a bite of his food Harm continued.

"Then I told her to tell Bud that, if he ever makes her watch Star Wars again, I'd officially confiscate all of his DVDs."

Loren grinned at that idea. "I bet he'd love that. Actually, I bet that SHE loved that."

Harm nodded "Oh, yeah. She confirmed she understood, told me to say 'Hello' to you for her and then practically _skipped, _Dorothy in Oz style btw., out of my office."

Loren giggled again at the picture Harm had painted. But she knew her husband all too well. "You had to burst her bubble, of course." It was a statement. Harriet was seemingly just too damned self-satisfied over the way she'd conned her superior.

Harm shrugged, with an innocent expression on his face. "Of course. She looked just too damned self-satisfied. I told her that she didn't fool me even for a second and that I had her pegged from the start. You should've seen the pout. Definitely learned that from AJ."

Loren had to giggle again, she couldn't have helped herself. Harm laughed too when he realised how it had sounded. Especially the mental image of the Admiral pouting was pretty funny. "Little AJ, not the big one. Good god, I hope we won't ever see the Admiral pouting, cause I don't think I'd get away without a demotion. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing right there and then."

"Yeah." agreed Loren. "Me too."

They then fell silent and proceeded to eat their dinners.

The silence was broken only when Loren put her hand on top of his and looked into his eyes deeply, with love shining brightly in her ice blue orbs.

"I'm glad you are the way you are, but I would still love you if you were a sci-fi fan."

Harm smiled back, reflecting her love and statement back.

"I love you too."


End file.
